Losing trust... or... would you frisk your friends?

Looking back over the past year of economic doldrums, how has it most affected you?

Are you saving more for a rainy day?

We all should be. But we’re also a bit more worried about who to trust with our savings (more so if we live in Cyprus).

Are you cutting back on spending?

Again, a sheconomical strategy. But there comes a point where you can’t cut back any more. The point where you feel so miserable you have to buy something to cheer yourself up.

Are you less trusting?

Let’s do a quick trust check. Who do you think is most trustworthy?
a) a banker enjoying a massive bonus while taxpayers bail out the bank

b) a journalist with an unhealthy interest in others’ mobile phone activity

c) a politician with a bad memory for policy pledges

d) a sleazy disc jockey

e) none of the above

It’s no wonder, given recent events, that we are all eyeing high profile figures with more suspicion. In fact a third of us say we are less trusting than we were a year ago, according to a Trust Study published by the Yorkshire Building Society* today.

You do trust me don't you Vera ... I mean Joan..?

Trust matters. Why? Because we need to know those around us have our interests at heart. That they won’t harm us, lie to us or let us down. To believe that those in positions of power won’t abuse that power. When trust is broken we feel shaken, vulnerable and panicked into looking after Number One. In fact, trust is so important that humans are hard-wired to decide in a micro-second whether or not someone is trustworthy.

Imagine living in a world where nobody trusted anyone.

Just buying a coffee would be a nightmare. The barrista offers the cup but won’t let go until he’s got your money in his hand. You won't part with the cash until you’ve got your coffee in case he whips it away. It'd be like being caught up in one of those perpetual childhood games where neither side will give in.

Imagine not trusting friends who visit your house and frisking them as they leave.

Or having to pay for everything you order from the restaurant menu before you get it.

Or finding out the bracelet your husband gave you on your anniversary is actually an electronic tagging device.

It’s good to trust others. It's nice to assume positive intent in everyone we meet. Because I truly believe that most people are kind and caring and trustworthy. 

Unfortunately though, we tend to hear a lot more about the minority who aren’t.

More on the Yorkshire Building Society Trust report here

Banks or building societies?

It’s worth noting that Yorkshire Building Society is a mutual, which means they’re owned by and run for their members. Because they have no shareholders to answer to, any profits they make are used to maintain the financial security of the business and then returned to members in the form of better rates and service. That's nice to know.

You can't turn over the corner of a Kindle page...

We’ve finally been Kindled. 

It took a while but this year Sheconomics came out on Kindle edition. 

As it’s four years since our book was published it's fabulous that people still want to buy it. Even last week a PR contact popped this at the bottom of her email:

 Ps I think your book is working. I went into Space NK last weekend and bought one thing instead of 3 so I think that's progress

How do you feel about Kindle books? As a voracious reader I’ve been pondering the pros and cons…..

Pros

• ·       I can hear Mariella Frostrup raving about a book on Radio 4 and have downloaded it before she’s done gushing.
• ·       I can take 14 heavy books abroad with me and stay within the measly baggage allowance that punitive airlines inflict on passengers these days.
• ·       With my Paperwhite Kindle I can read at night without waking my husband by flooding the room with light so he thinks there's a police raid. I can even adjust its lighting levels depending on where I am.
• ·       Kindle editions are usually cheaper than printed books. In fact I’ve downloaded hundreds of classics for free.
• ·       I can highlight away to my heart’s content and view my clips in an electronic version on my computer later. I used to laboriously copy our favourite passages and quotes.
• ·       (I know others say an advantage of the Kindle is that others can’t see what you’re reading [in a Fifty Shades kind of way] but I don’t care who sees what I’m reading. It's just not racy that anyway).

So would I eschew printed books in favour of my electronic friend? 

Here are what I see as the cons of the Kindle …

• ·       I love the feel, smell and completely tactile experience of a real book; technology doesn’t offer the same sensual pleasure as a much-loved paperback with turned-over corners.
• ·       I like reading in the bath. And, yes, I confess I do take it in there with me sometimes. But I know it’s only a matter of time before it slips through soapy fingers and stops working. I'd read in the shower too if I could.
• ·       I love passing favourite books on to friends. I still do that sometimes, but that means buying them the real thing after I’ve read it on Kindle (and how sheconomical is that?).
• ·       With non-fiction I love to dip in and out or flick through the pages for bits that catch my eye. That's tricky to do on a Kindle. 
• ·       I have read whole books on Kindle without having the foggiest idea of the book’s title. Or the author. That’s because I see it once –at the start – but it never appears again. At least with a real book the cover gets imprinted on the brain and you know what you’ve read.

So, the choice is yours. If you’re a Kindle kinda girl you can buy Sheconomics on Kindle for £4.99  

or if you want to see it in all its pink glory and dip in and out of real pages, then you can buy the print copy of Sheconomics on Amazon, where the average rating is still five lovely stars.

I'd be interested to know whether you think these electronic devices spell the end of the real book. Or whether we'll always want the thrill of crunchy pages, musty smells and jazzy jackets..... 

Why grubby notes may slip through your fingers faster.

When I popped a few notes into a card for my niece this Christmas I made sure the notes were new and crisp, rather than crumpled grubby ones.

Why should that matter, I wondered.

Surely a tenner is still worth ten pounds, whether the note is freshly minted or has been through a hundred hands. Or is it? New research from the University of Guelph** shows that not all notes are created equal, and we’ll cherish new ones over grubby ones any time.

I wouldn’t give my niece a dirty note just as I wouldn’t give her a pair of pre-worn socks.

In five different studies, the Guelph researchers gave people old or new notes to spend (bet they didn’t have trouble finding participants for that study). People spent more and took more chances with older, worn money. Each time the same main reason emerged: people don’t like "dirty money."

Apparently it's the 'ick' factor: the idea of touching something that others have handled. People want to rid themselves of worn currency, fearing the contamination from others.

People value a crisp new note because they take pride in it, almost viewing it as a reflection of themselves. So, when spending around others, we are more likely to hand over our new-looking currency, even if we have to use four £5 notes rather than one crumpled £20 note. It's about social currency. If the transaction has no social value you'll get rid of your old notes. But when spending (or giving) to impress you want your notes to spell 'clean'.

I wouldn’t give my niece a dirty note just as I wouldn’t give her a pair of pre-worn socks. This challenges the long-held belief that we take money at face value - it’s actually subject to the same inferences and biases as the products it can buy.

**Fabrizio Di Muro and Theodore J. Noseworthy. Money Isn’t Everything, but It Helps If It Doesn’t Look Used: How the Physical Appearance of Money Influences Spending. Journal of Consumer Research, April 2013

Oh it's a hot water bottle cover and other tell-tale signs of failed gifts.

Yes, Christmas has been sprung on us again this year (how did that happen?) and the potential for danger once again is huge. 
And I don't mean danger from fizzling fairy lights that the cat peed on, or from undercooked turkey or oversozzled relatives. 
No, I mean the danger of the disastrous gift. 

A large proportion of presents, probably at least a third, are destined to bring out the liar in us all. The biggest lie spoken over the festive period being, "It's just what I always wanted."
My previous research has found a number of facts about failed festive gifts, i.e.:

• 89% of women will pretend to like a gift they hate, 79% of men will.
• Half of all people get at least one present they dislike.
• Half will lie to a loved one about a gift, pretending to like it.
• 1 in 4 people say giving a gift makes them feel anxious.
• 1 in 5 people say receiving a gift makes them feel anxious.
• Men find the whole gift giving and getting thing maore anxiety inducing than women.

But of course we're all very good at hiding our true feelings about those bungled pressies aren't we? Not so. My research also showed that our true feelings leak out in our non-verbal behaviour, even when we're professing to love something. Notably:

• We make eye contact with the giver if we like the gift. If we don't like it we avoid eye contact.
• We produce a fake smile using only the mouth (not the eye) muscles when pretending to like a gift.
• We display a gift we like and show it off to others, but are more likely to rewrap or cover a disliked gift.

It's also been found that when we don't like a gift (and therefore don't know what to say about it) we're likely to simply announce what the gift is. 

As in, "Oh, it's a HOT-WATER BOTTLE COVER." 

Said aloud, with rising intonation, it's a sure give away you're really thinking "What the hell...."

So how can we avoid making the recipients of our offerings squirm on Christmas Day? 

A number of ‘rules’ about gift exchange emerged from my research. They are

• ·      Appropriateness

A gift that’s right will be of an appropriate value and level of intimacy. It shouldn’t violate relationship boundaries by being too intimate or too extravagant for the current status of the relationship.

• ·      Empathy

A positive gift will be imbued with shared meaning, show understanding of need and signal a connection in the relationship. Failed gifts are often empty of meaning and/or show lack of understanding.

• ·      Effort

A successful gift will have required the giver to put in some effort into choosing the desired object. Gifts low on substance and sentiment send out the wrong message.

I hope all your gifts are well-received this Christmas and that all that come your way are just what you always wanted. If they're not, well, you could always open them in the dark in silence then no-one will ever know....