Do you suffer from hedonic adaptation?

How many of the following statements would you agree with?

• Most marriages start with a burst of joy that slowly fizzles out
• The thrill of winning the lottery would wear off after a while
• A larger salary wouldn’t make me much happier
• Losing weight would only make life better temporarily
• I have many possessions that I once thought were beautiful but don’t now
• Most people stop noticing their partner’s good looks
• I could achieve my dreams and still find I’m dissatisfied
• There’s nothing as exciting as a new relationship

If you answered Yes to more than two or three of these you may suffer from hedonic adaptation. 
But, to be honest, most of us do.  
Hedonic adaptation is simply when happiness wears off (cue Texas singing The thrill has gone). The way the excitement of that top job, windfall or new car fades with time. 
Even winning the lottery produces only short-term ecstasy, for lottery winners are no happier 18 months after their win than non-winners. And I suspect there are many readers of this blog who have stuff in their wardrobes that they once thought was to-die-for that they now wouldn’t be seen dead in.

Hedonic adaptation explains the tide of over-consumption that modern society is caught up in. If we didn’t ‘go off’ things, if last year’s handbag or winter coat thrilled us as much today as when we bought it, we wouldn’t be drooling over this year’s model. The exhilaration of acquisition gives buyers such a buzz that, like shopping junkies, they seek it out again and again. 

How did I ever love this lot?

We all know we should be content with less. We know that twenty pairs of shoes is more than enough for any bipedal creature. But the pull of the mall does, as I said in an earlier blog, threaten to make shopping zombies of us all.

How can we stop this adaptation and prolong the pleasure of our purchases, or our priveleges? What can the field of fashion psychology tell us? Research about to be published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin points to two key ways. Appreciation and variety. In their hedonic adaptation prevention model the authors say:

Appreciation: Stop and appreciate every day what you have and you might be able to eek more excitement from it.

Variety: Use it in different ways, to create more varied experiences, and the bliss could persist.

Why? Because the brain habituates over time that we get bored with things*. The brain loves novelty and surprises, which is why the mantra I swear by, Do Something Different, is once again of huge relevance here.

How? Here are my tips for preventing hedonic adaption and keeping the thrill alive:

• Move stuff around so you continue to notice it.
• Re-position your art or objects of desire in the home every so often so they have new impact.
• Store winter clothes away in summer, and vice versa, and experience the newness of them when you get them out again months later.
• Ditto with young kids’ toys. Divide them into four storage containers. Let them play with one set at a time while the others are hidden. Rotate on a weekly or monthly basis.
•  Better still, stop buying toys and use a toy library or swap with friends. Babies habituate very quickly to stuff and love more novelty than even the most indulgent parent can afford.
• Keep an appreciation or gratitude journal. This trick, from positive psychology, keeps reminding you of the good stuff in your life. It's shown to boost happiness as well as curbing the urge to go and buy more stuff.
• Get excitement from experiences rather than from purchases. The effects are known to last longer and be more fulfilling. Very relevant at Christmas.
• Use your old stuff in new ways, learn how to restyle your old clothes or swap with friends.
• Rent, rather than buy, an outfit for a special occasion.
• Do something different as often as possible in your life.  You’ll come to see that it’s all about what you do, not what you have.

·      * From the paper by Sheldon et al, University of Missouri:

"By definition, adaptation occurs only in response to constant or repeated stimuli, not to dynamically varying ones. Thoughts and behaviors that are varied and unexpected or surprising appear to be innately stimulating and rewarding. Stated differently, after an individual completely understands and expects the experiences that a change produces, the experiences will no longer have the same emotional impact and he or she will drift back towards his or her initial wellbeing. Maintaining the variability and surprises inherent in the experiences and in the emotions forestalls this process… One applied implication of this view is that many people cope with their HA to their prior purchases and acquisitions by overconsuming and overspending. However, if they can continue to derive pleasure from what they already have, in part from varied experiences of those possessions, then they can resist increasing aspirations for even more."

The Challenge of Staying Happier:

Testing the Hedonic Adaptation Prevention (HAP) Model

Kennon M. Sheldon, University of Missouri & Sonja Lyubomirsky, University of California, Riverside

in press, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin

20 money milestones for kids

As school exams get underway there’s a lot of stuff being digested in teenage bedrooms all over the country. I don’t just mean chocolate hob-nobs, but maybe some geography, german and algebra too.

Are modern kids prepared for the money world?

However,  one subject that’s notably absent from the modern curriculum is financial literacy. 

In a couple of years hoards of these youngsters will be managing their own finances, perhaps while saddled with student loans. And research shows that a big chunk of them won’t understand the money basics, like the difference between AER and APR or how compound interest works, by the time they reach adulthood.

That’s why I welcomed the launch this week of a website aimed at helping kids understand money. Moneyasyougrow.org is a site that features 20 essential money milestones that kids go through from the age of three to eighteen.

OK, it’s a US site but loads of the common sense stuff applies here too.

As do the key activities that help kids to learn at each age stage. I’ve selected just one for each age group here:

3 – 5 year olds need to understand that you may have to wait before you can have something that you want (see my earlier blog on one thing to teach your kids)

6-10 years olds need to know that it’s good to shop around and compare prices before you buy

11- 13 year olds are advised to save a dime for every dollar they get (for kids in the UK that would be 10p in the pound, although I suggest a third is better)

15 – 18 year olds are advised to use cash rather than credit cards for purchases and the over 18s are told they should only use a credit card if they can pay off the whole balance in full every month.

Many of the money problems we see in adults have their roots in childhood. 
So many of us had little or no financial education as kids and grew up into financial illiterate adults. Others had parents who handed down such strict money rules that money strikes fear in them years later and they avoid responsibility. 
One way to stop this pattern repeating itself if you have kids is to start a simple money education as soon as they are old enough to reach up and hand their pennies over the sweetie counter. The moneyasyougrow site is a good place to start; there are also lots of tips in Sheconomics.

THE BEST THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO ANTICIPATE

Here's a quote I came across recently by the managing director of Harrods, Michael Ward, who apparently said:

“What luxury is about is having the most beautiful experience,

 that’s what people love.”

Is luxury just a beautiful experience - or more than that?

Do you agree? I think he’s only partly right. Because experiences, however beautiful, are also often fleeting, transient, gone in an instant.

Real luxury, I would argue, is about anticipating the most beautiful experience.

That’s because brain research now tells us that pleasure isn’t just experiential. It’s anticipatory. We know our brains have pleasure detectors. When we acquire an object of desire, or see a lover’s smile or taste a wonderful champagne, a rush of happy chemicals go sloshing through the brain.

But those happy chemicals also get released when we anticipate something we love. In fact we get a bigger rush from anticipating than we do from experiencing.

Scientists from the University Medical Centre in Hamburg recently conducted tests that measure brain activity and found that our brains experience more pleasure when we are working towards something than when we actually achieve it.
(So that's why makers of designer handbags create waiting lists)

That’s why luxury in the form of real quality brings lasting satisfaction, it’s why craftsmanship persists and why bling will only ever bring transient satisfaction, to the producer and to the consumer.

Science has proved that it’s anticipation that makes us happy, that long-termism always trumps short-termism and that a delayed reward brings more pleasure than an instant reward.

Interestingly the scientists found also discovered that regular hints about the upcoming reward can boost our feelings of pleasure, when people in the lab were reminded of something that was worth waiting for the pleasure centres in their brains lit up.

So if you have a special bottle of GH Mumm champagne tucked away for a special occasion, having a quick peek at it on regular occasions will be sure to boost your happiness levels.

Dreaming about future pleasures can bring more happiness than experiencing them. 

Think about holidays too. We’re all supposed to love holidays.  Do you like planning a holiday, looking at images of tropical beaches, beautiful sunsets, sumptuous hotels, imagining a place where the sun always shines and you’ve left all your worries behind in Heathrow’s departure lounge? 

Well researchers in the Netherlands recently showed that we get a larger boost in happiness from planning a holiday than we do from the holiday itself. They studied the happiness levels of over 1000 Dutch adults and found that happiness levels were highest when people were planning their holiday.

In fact they argue that if you really want holidays to make you happier you shouldn’t just have one long one, you should have lots of shorter ones so you maximise the time spent in anticipation.

Intuitively we all know this and evolutionary psychology accounts for why we’re drawn to products that embody this waiting process, that stand for timelessless and are characterised by tradition and craftsmanship.

Ironically though nowadays we are rarely encouraged to wait. We live in an immediate gratification society, instant messaging, fast food, ready credit and computer games where you can kill your enemies at the touch of a button.

Are we all going to lose the ability to delay our pleasures? During boom times that is always a risk but during a recession different types of processes operate. That’s when delayed gratification comes to the fore.

  

Because psychological research shows being able to delay gratification is a sign of higher cognitive ability, one that’s more recently evolved. A sign of maturity that’s even linked to quality of life.

Resisting temptation is hard if you like immediate gratification. 

You may have heard of the famous marshmallow test that an American psychologist called Walter Mischel carried out on children in the 1960’s. Mischel offered young children, around 3 and 4 years of age, a marshmallow. He put it in front of them and said they could eat it now OR if they could wait while he stepped out for a few minutes when he came back they could have two marshmallows.

Most children couldn’t wait. They either ate it as soon as he was out of the room or sat and squirmed for a while and then caved in and ate it. Some covered their eyes with their hands or turned their back on the marshmallow so that they can’t see it.

One girl stroked the marshmallow lovingly; another boy looked carefully around the room to make sure that nobody could see him then picked it up sucked it and put it back!

Some children managed to wait 15 minutes.

But about 30% of the children wrestled with temptation but stuck it out for a full fifteen minutes. They were ones who could delay gratification in return for a second marshmallow. Years later the experimenters followed up the children to adulthood.

The ones who could wait did better at school, were more successful in their careers and in their relationships.

The instant gratifiers, the ones who couldn’t wait, on the other hand were more likely to have behavioural problems at school, or problems at home.

The moral of this story is that waiting is a higher-cognitive skill, a sign of maturity and those who can delay gratification have a better quality of life.

Delayed and immediate gratification originate in different parts of the human brain.

More recently brain researchers have found the key to the link between delayed gratification and intelligence. Different parts of the brain get activated by immediate and delayed rewards.

The need for immediate reward is driven by the more primitive part of the brain – the part that might impel the purchaser towards quick fixes, impulse buys, bling and disposable luxury.

But when people choose longer term options they use the frontal-parietal part of the brain, that is situated in the more recently evolved pre-frontal cortex - the part that differentiates us from animals and from our ancestors – it gives us the ability to reason, to plan ahead and exercise self-control.

So delayed gratification and the ethic of the craftsman overlap and reinforce each other in that both require a certain construction of the future, a certain ideal of stability and longevity.

That’s why brands that are associated with longevity, with craftsmanship and tradition, will continue to have lasting appeal whatever the economic climate but especially when people want every penny they spend to have value.

So Michael Ward was only partly right when he said that luxury is having a beautiful experience, it’s more than that.

The best things come to those who anticipate….

 This is the talk I gave to the G.H. Mumm Perrier-Jouet Champagne Assembly on 27th January.

PS When researching this article I discovered there's even a magazine called Delayed Gratification. I thought it might be found right on the top shelf of the newsagents, or only published every other year, but it seems it's out quarterly and rather sensibly measures news in months not minutes. Like all good things in life it says it is beautiful, collectable and designed to be treasured.http://www.dgquarterly.com/

10 reasons why men need Sheconomics

Don't let our pinkness put you off - we have lots of bloke-friendly stuff going on. Here's why we think men need Sheconomics too:

·      1. Because research shows your investments would surge if you used your feminine side a tad more. No need to greet your latest dividend with a tearful acceptance speech, it's just about not being over-cocky, a risk-taker or one of the boys. More diverse portfolios, caution and not over-reacting to a volatile market explain why female investors outperform men consistently.

·     2  Because you could learn how to dress for success. Drop that favourite well-worn brown suit off at Oxfam and let someone with a tape measure get intimate with your inside leg. Seriously, people do judge you by what you wear. A lot. Men in bespoke suits are judged to be more successful, confident, trustworthy, flexible and higher earners than their off-the-peg counterparts.

·     3. Because you could suss out how to have cool, non-confrontational conversations about money. And you could have a better, happier home-life if you did so. There are tricks and strategies we can all learn that will make money-chat nicer. No issues. No arguments. Hugs optional.

·    4.  Because you could be a better Dad.  Without realising it parents play more roughly with boy babies than with girls. They let boys explore more than girls and use more emotion words with their daughters than with their sons. Swat up on the significant but subtle ways you can give your daughter the kind of start in life you are unconsciously giving your son. Get wind of some good Sheconomics strategies for raising kids.

·      5. Because you’ll do the right thing by her in the event of the unmentionable happening.

     When multi-million selling author Stieg Larsson died suddenly at 50 his estranged family, and not his life-long partner Eva, inherited his fortune. Eva's even having to fight a legal battle to stay in their apartment. No-one wants to think about death but not thinking of those you'll leave behind is dumb.

  

·     6. Because you overwork your logical left brain and neglect the poor old right. Ever thought about which side of your brain is managing your money? Intuition can be a useful tool, but seems to be the reverse of logic. The field of behavioural economics is obsessed by these concepts because humans are rarely rational decision-making machines. They fall victim to flawed logic, emotional reactions and cognitive biases.

·      7. Because you could realise some of the hidden forces behind financial success, and why it helps to be tall, left-handed and tidy. 

      Yes, we said tidy. No, we’re not nagging. It's just that taller people earn more than shorter people and left-handed people earn more than right-handed people. Things that are hard to change. But people with tidier homes do earn more than people with messy homes. Reason to not drop those socks on the floor?

·      8. Because if you’ve ever suffered death-by-dinner-party you’ll see how company boards make the same mistakes as very dull hosts. Mixing up the guests brings livelier conversations and new perspectives. About 10 years ago Norwegian boards were mostly made up of men with very similar views and backgrounds who went hunting and fishing together. This meant there was a huge risk of group-think in the boards’ decision-making processes, and a real lack of diverse perspectives.

     Adding just 3 women to boards has been shown to increase the company's bottom line by 40% and boost the country's economy.

·      9 . Because emotional intelligence is just as important as IQ. You’ve always known that IQ isn’t all it’s cracked up to be - there are better ways of selecting the right bunch of people to work with.

     Studies show the most effective groups listen to each other, share constructive criticism, have open minds, are not autocratic and use conversational turn-taking to good effect.

·      10. Because we can all learn something from the bagel man. You can tell how much people like their bosses and their work from how much dosh they drop in the honesty box. It could be a good metric for getting to know the health of your company and the happiness of your employees. Honest. 

 Final word from a lovely friend of Sheconomics, Alan Newman of the Finance IT Network:

• "There's probably some merit to the accusation that the financial services sector is 'male, pale and stale'. The insights from this book - co-authored by a Professor of Psychology and a Financial Coach (who left IFA boredom behind her) - should be compulsory reading for us blokes."                        

Girls, materialism and self-esteem.

If you had a 12-year old daughter how would you expect her to spend the summer holidays?

Girls today may not all be like me and pass the days pretending to be a pony (I know, don’t say it, I am a psychologist after all). But it seems that many are spending hours in front of a computer screen showing off the spoils from their latest spending spree.

The trend is called hauling and is reported in the news today. Girls record themselves showing their latest ‘haul’ from the shops and others can view them on youtube and leave comments. Unsurprisingly it’s a trend that’s come over from the U.S. where girls as young as 8 or 9 take part. 

Worryingly some girls are spending up to eight hours a day in front of the computer, having become addicted to obsessively checking for comments on their latest post. And not all the comments are positive, with one girl having been told she was too pale and her legs were ‘stumpy’.

The dangers of this activity barely need articulating but as a psychologist I worry about the self-esteem of these young girls and how fragile their sense of identify may be. In particular:

• Research shows that materialism is strongly linked to low self-esteem in children. So kids who want more generally value themselves less.
• Children repeat what they get attention for. It’s called positive reinforcement and underlies addictive behaviours. If you get a thousand ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ from your on-line watchers every time you buy something, you’ll quickly get addicted to that attention and require more and more purchases to get the effect.
• This sets the stage for, and increases the likelihood, of cyber-bullying. Blatant showing off of what we have can engender envy and jealousy in others. Some girls may get admiration from their friends but they may also fuel their enemies into hostility.
• Studies show that experiences not stuff determine our levels of happiness. While these girls are shopping and showing off they are not having the experiences that will help them develop into positive and well-adjusted individuals.

Shouldn't financial education be compulsory?

Today teenagers across the country will be getting their A level results and finding out whether they're en route for Oxbridge or Uxbridge. 

In three years time many will emerge with a degree - and a debt of up to £54,000* 
Debt used to be a dirty word but since the introduction of Uni tuition fees it's now not only OK to have debt but the government encourage it. 
Isn't it sad then that many students come out of school having had NO education in managing debt, understanding interest rates and financial management? 

Today the Department for Education said:

It's a national disgrace that in the 20 years since introducing student loans, we’ve educated our youth into debt when they go to university, but never about debt. We're a financially illiterate nation, with millions caught by misselling, overborrowing and being ripped off. Is it any surprise we’ve just had a debt imbued financial crisis. This must change. Companies spend billions on marketing and teaching their staff to sell – it's time we got buyers' training. The most cost effective way to start is to ensure every child in the country gets a basic understanding of personal finance & consumer rights before leaving school. This isn’t a large resource requirement. Some schools already do it, but the majority don’t and that needs to end. Unless it's compulsory, head teachers can’t prioritise for it. 97% of people support this, yet no one will take up the baton. We have one of the world’s most complex consumer economies; it's time our children were taught how to thrive and survive in it.

You can sign a petition to support compulsory financial education in schools here

The extent of the debt - and it's not just the kids who need educating:

*£54,000 calculated by the long-term savings and investment company Standard Life. Their research shows that many parents are also ignorant about the extent of student debt. More than half of parents underestimate the maximum amount of debt their child could leave university with. 

When asked to take into account the increase in tuition fees to a maximum of £9,000 per year from 2012, and any other debts accumulated from living expenses, student loans, bank loans, etc, 58 per cent of parents think the maximum debt their children could leave with is £40,000 or under, including many who think this would be a lot less. Despite this, a fifth (21 per cent) of parents have started to make regular savings to help ease the costs of their children's university education. And nearly a quarter (23 per cent) of parents are putting money aside on special occasions (e.g. birthdays or one-off windfalls). 

Julie Hutchison, Head of Technical Insight at Standard Life, said: "The findings of our research are positive as they show that parents have identified the need to save for their children's time at university. Unfortunately their expectations of what that cost could be and therefore the target amount they want to save might actually be too low."

We're not influencing our daughters as much as we think.

How we parent our adolescent off-spring 

has a strong influence on them, right?

Wrong.

My daughter Camilla and I - but who's influencing who?

New research* shows it’s probably the other way round – your teenage daughter is influencing you.

The researchers from the Temple University Fox School of Business looked at whether teenage girls tended to buy what their mothers bought, or vice versa. 

They sampled 343 mother-daughter pairs and found that mothers who are young at heart and fashion conscious tend to copy their daughter's consumption behavior. 

This runs counter to traditional psychological research on role-models and suggests a reverse-socialisation effect. Daughters, it seems, just don’t see their mums as role models when it comes to fashion. Shame really, just think of all the hand-me-downs they could profit from!

The researchers concluded that "children affect their parents' consumption behavior with regard to the products that the parents themselves consume."

So next time you find yourself stocking up on acne cream and pink hair dye and squeezing into a pair of micro-shorts, stop and ask yourself who’s been getting under your skin.


This highlights how human behaviour - financial and otherwise - is often driven by invisible forces. By unconscious motives and emotions that rarely crop up on our mental radar. In Sheconomics we show you how to notice - and get to grips with - those hidden forces so you are always in control of your spending and your life.

Temple University (2011, July 26). Mothers have a stronger tendency to mimic their daughters' consumption behavior than vice versa. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/07/110725091718.htm

Why we give our daughters dresses to wear and our sons problems to solve

This week the retailing giant Debenhams revealed that parents spend 20% more on their daughters’ clothes than on their sons'. 

Over the lifetime of childhood that adds up to a lot of pink frocks and sparkly tops. In a report on this for the Daily Mail I was asked the killer question of whether it was nature or nurture. There’s never a simple answer to that question but in this case I plumped for nurture. Look how we still praise girls for looking pretty and comment on their appearance, whereas with boys parents are more likely to get excited when he masters their mobile phone functionality.

Whether or not we know we’re doing it, parents start to treat boys and girls differently in the delivery room. Studies show that parents describe their newborn daughters as more delicate and having finer features than boys, even though gender differences aren’t visible early on. So if you dressed all babies in green (rather than pink or blue) we couldn’t tell which gender they were, with a nappy on of course. (You can fluster adults by handing them a baby and not telling them which sex it is, they really don’t know how to behave).

Later on the difference treatment continues:

·      Parents play more roughly with boy babies than girls.

·      They allow boys to explore more as toddlers.

·      They use more emotion words with girls than boys.

·      They encourage girls more in play that involves domestic themes and dressing up.

These subtle signals create the child’s early gender identity. Girls get more parental and societal approval for ‘looking pretty’, sending the message that what they wear is important to others. As little girls grow, they are socialized to continue to care about their appearance. Society glamorizes the female image and places heavy emphasis on the outward show. I guess that’s why women shop more but it must also subtly skew their aspirations and futures. We buy girls princess outfits and boys get Superman costumes. No wonder only 6% of UK engineers are women (the lowest in the EU) compared to 40% in China (according to the Institute of Technology).

Of course, there will be a myriad of reasons for this difference but spending less of their formative years in dress shops may have had something to do with it. 


I AM CURRENTLY RESEARCHING THE CONNECTION BETWEEN FASHION AND WOMEN'S EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING. THE SURVEY IS OPEN UNTIL THE END OF AUGUST AND ONLY TAKES 5-10 MINUTES TO COMPLETE: PLEASE TAKE PART

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