Moments of Weakness: Five Impulse Spending Triggers

Do you know what your weak spot is? Is it the shoe section in Harvey Nicks or those racks of beauty products at the airport? Do you buy more food when you're hungry (who doesn't)? More clothes when you're stressed? More gifts when feeling guilty? More of anything-that-isn't-nailed-down when you're pre-menstrual and have just been paid?

People rarely buy stuff for utilitarian reasons. Buying is more often the result of mind-boggling marketing tricks, seductive store layouts and a whole host of biological, psychological and even evolutionary factors.  

Purchasing decisions aren't always made rationally

We aren't always in as much control as we'd like to be, as the growing number of people with credit card debts or compulsive shopping disorders will testify. And men and women shop differently, with more women inclined to spend on impulse.

Impulse buys are a buyer's curse and a seller's dream. 

A recent article on the excellent Huffington Post website has captured the Five Big Moments When You're Most Likely to Overspend. 

According to their writer Candace Braun, those moments of weakness are when:

You're Mindful of The Time:  A slogan that urged people to "spend a little time, enjoy C&D's lemonade," resulted in more people buying a drink, and paying 51% more for it (compared to a those who saw a sign that asked them to "spend a little money"). This 2008 study from Stanford University showed that  'spending time' feels more like buying an experience, not just handing over hard-earned cash. Slogans linked to time, like 'thank Crunchie it's Friday' work in the same way.

If the time seems right.....

You're Trying to Avoid The Crowds: You may feel super-organised shopping at 7 a.m. on a Wednesday, when Tesco is blissfully quiet, but your purse could take a bigger hit.  Being in a crowd makes us less likely to overspend, according to a Journal of Consumer Research study. We are more focused on getting out unscathed than on making another purchase.

I know you didn't come out to buy this, but here you are!

You've Got Money in Another Account: That offer of the £100 bonus for opening an extra account seems a no-brainer. However, a May 2013 study found that people tend to save more when they have just one place to deposit money.  Researchers say that with one account it's easier to keep track of how much is in there -- and how much you're spending. When we have multiple accounts, it's easy to spend from one while feeling reassured there's money in the other account too.

You've Got to Buy Something Embarrassing: To try and mask the embarrassing item in their basket, almost 80 percent of people will pile in unnecessary extras to divert the cashier's and other shoppers' attention, a Journal of Consumer Research study found. Online shopping could be the answer here!

Gift purchases are less guilt-ridden

You Need Some Retail Therapy: It's common to feel the urge to splurge when emotions are high or mood is low. My research has also shown that 75 percent of women are more likely to overspend or impulse buy when treating someone else. Feeling low can lead to us literally trying to buy happiness and buying gifts for those we care about can help us feel more connected to them, as we say in Sheconomics. Of course, buying for someone else doesn't induce as much guilt either when money is tight.

Thanks again to the Huffington Post for bringing these spending triggers to light, and for including Sheconomics in their article - it's always nice to reach out to our US readers - issues with money cross cultural boundaries and oceans too.

A bit of me-time: it's priceless...

So I asked ten (busy, high achieving, child-encumbered) friends recently, what would make your life easier? I thought their answers might be money-related but all of them said ‘More TIME!’. And this became the theme of a talk I gave for Palmolive Naturals recently, to promote their range of shower milks. 

Many women are so busy putting everyone else’s needs first, they are desperately short of me-time.

A recent survey found that
women have on average less than
an hour a day to themselves.

The ability of women to care for others is part of innate female nature. Isn’t part of becoming a mother learning that there are others we would always willingly put before ourselves?

At the risk of some outrageous gender stereotyping I’d say we – as women - are hardwired to nurture and care about others. God in her infinite wisdom decided it would be the female of almost every species that would carry and nurture the young. And she even bestowed a special hormone – oxytocin, upon female humans to help us to do this.

On top of this biological imperative to put the needs of others before our own, we also socialize little girls from very young to please others, to make sure everyone else is OK and to even subjugate our own needs to the needs of others.

BUT

Where does this leave us when it comes to me-time?
Do we know how to put ourselves first, or even deep down believe we have the right to?

Women who work who mother, who care for others, who are walways there for ehri friends in times of need - they’re all experts at taking their responsibilities seriously, at juggling everyone’s needs. And me-time is something that gets squeezed in between a whole host of other demands – or squeezed out by them as the case may be.

A recent survey by Mumsnet found that women typically get less than one hour of me time each day….One mum said:

As a stay at home mummy with 4 children (youngest 3 months, eldest 7 years), this house really is a full time job! If I am not looking after the children, then there's the house to look after...

I hardly get any time to myself - 'free' time is used to get jobs done!! And i'm hardly in bed before 11pm. I cannot wee on my own, cannot shower without someone joining me, finish a cup of tea before it going cold (or mostly, it doesn't even make it out the kettle!) Oh, and I only use my laptop when I'm breastfeeding!!

This woman said she can’t even shower without someone joining her and yet taking a bath or shower must be one of the few occasions when we should be able to relax and indulge in some me-time ….

But how many of us really take advantage of that time?

Let’s do a quick survey of our own:

                      Own up now, do you ever:

·       Let someone else come into the bathroom when you’re bathing, or leave the door ajar so you’re ‘on call’?

·       Take your phone or laptop into the bathroom with you?

·       Clean the bath or shower when you’re in it?

I must confess I have been guilty of all of these…. and when I asked women attending my recent talks these questions there was a reluctant but significant show of hands.

So much for me-time. It’s hardly relaxing if we’re slathering ourselves with Ultra Moisturisation Olive Shower Milk and at the same time thinking, Blimey that grouting could do with a good scrub. 

A bath: the perfect stress buster.

You see it’s not enough to have beautiful body pampering products if our mind isn’t receptive to them. Mind, body and soul are inextricably linked and we have to fuse them together to really de-stress.

So in my talk I proposed a positive psychology experiment for women to try when bathing.

It’s based on classical conditioning, a technique discovered by Pavlov who you’ve probably heard of.  He experimented on dogs, and you’re probably wondering what this has got to do with your beauty regime but bear with me here…..

Pavlov fed his dogs at a regular time every day.

Just before he gave them their food he rang a bell.

He soon noticed that even without producing the food, if he rang the bell the dogs would salivate.

The dogs responded physically to the sound of the bell.

Pavlov used a sound in his conditioning experiment, but any of the senses can be used to condition peopleSmells are particularly evocative.

So here’s a technique for positive meditation while you’re bathing. When you have your morning shower or bath do this:

First of all:

Banish everyone from the bathroom, leave your phone and the CIF outside the bathroom. If necessary lock the children in a cupboard or hang a do not disturb sign on the bathroom door.

1.    Rub your favourite shower milk onto your hands and breathe in the fragrance.
2.     Keep rubbing and breathing slowly as you start to bring to mind three good things in your life.
These can be big or small things, perhaps the feeling of sitting in the sun in your favourite garden chair, the sound of your daughter giggling or your loved one’s smile.
3.     Tip more shower millk onto your sponge or hand, and move in slow circular movements all over your body.
This is the point where you’re experiencing the softness and the fragrance but you’ve got to quiet your busy mind so that it doesn’t sabotage the experience….. so
4.     As you circle keep your mind focused on your three good things. Don’t let any other negative thoughts intrude, if they do return to your positive thought.
5.     Keep this up for ten minutes. Before long you’ll feel a positive glow, as you smooth the lather all over your body nourishing your skin and your mind.

The mind and body work together, so focusing on positive thoughts while you bathe or shower will make sure you get the most relaxing experience possible.

If you practice this regularly you’ll find that just flipping the lid off your shower milk will trigger those positive thoughts and that state of relaxation.

If you feel stressed during the day take a couple of minutes to wash your hands and breathe in the fragrance. Because you’ve used that technique of associating that smell with positive thoughts it should immediately trigger a state of relaxation. You’ll have conditioned your brain to associate these pleasant feelings with the gorgeous smell and silky feel of the Palmolive naturals.

Make this part of your me time every day.

You’ll find your mind will be just as responsive as one of Pavlov’s dogs, although hopefully with a bit less dribbling.

NEW BOOK REVEALS PROFS’ SECRETS

Our book launch in London tonight (16th Jan). How exciting!

If all goes well I'll post some photos up here soon. If not, I'll just post some random pictures of very sensible people being well-behaved.

The new book? It's by by Professors Ben Fletcher and Karen Pine and it's called FLEX: Do Something Different. How to use the other 9/10ths of your personality

SEE BELOW FOR HOW YOU CAN WIN A FREE COPY.

Do Something Different. What a nice simple idea, someone commented recently. Yes, the idea IS simple. That’s what we like about it. 

But the science behind it is less than simple. In fact, it is based on over 30 years research. And now you can read about all the science behind do something different in the new book.

The book covers topics such as:

• ·      The personality trap
• ·      Shaping a life
• ·      The myth of willpower
• ·      Behavioural change
• ·      Alleviating stress
• ·      Behavioural flexibility
• ·      Doing the right thing
• ·      Towards greater personal coherence
• ·      How Do Something Different works
• ·      What a Do Something Different intervention looks like

Now you can experience for yourself the way we test people’s habit levels and their behavioural range. Be warned, it can be quite an eye-opener! These tests are used in our online programmes to design tailor-made Do’s for our Do-ers.

The Do’s, usually sent by text or email, start off simply. ‘Walk a different way to the shops’. ‘Listen to someone else’s music’. As people start to get the hang of it, the Do’s get more tailored to their own profile, spotting the gaps in their repertoire.  Helping them to expand new areas of their personality.

For example, a very systematic person might be encouraged to be more spontaneous, to:

·        Phone an old friend out of the blue

·        Turn up at the cinema and watch the next film that’s starting

·        Drop everything and invite a friend or colleague for a coffee 

And someone who’s introverted would be encouraged to try these extraverted Do’s:

·      Say hello to someone you've never spoken to before

·      Practise telling a funny story, embellish it for effect

·      Organise a night out at a karaoke bar, put your name down first.

The emphasis is on expanding the range of behaviours people use, so they flex the behaviours that don’t come naturally. People find they can approach old problems in new ways, which can help to reduce stress.

Professor Ben (C) Fletcher says about behavioural flexibility. “The more behaviours you have in your toolbox, the more able you are to react to different situations in your life, the less anxious you will be. Our Do Something Different programme helps people to develop new behaviours and break restrictive habits. It’s easy to do, most people find it great fun and it gets fantastic results.”

FLEX: Do Something Different. How to use the other 9/10ths of your personality, by psychologists Professor Ben (C) Fletcher and Professor Karen Pine, is published on 16^th January 2012, by University of Hertfordshire Press and available from Amazon.

TO WIN A FREE COPY ANSWER THIS QUESTION:

What type of machine do the authors of Flex say people are?

a) washing machine

b) mean machine

c) habit machine

Email me (k.j.pine@dsd.me) and I'll pick five correct answers at random to receive a free signed copy of Flex: Do Something Different.