“Now what…?”

Simonne on how to make sure your future's a dream ...not a nightmare.

We love hearing about how Sheconomics changes lives. An inspiring review on Amazon recently told how it transformed one business woman's life. She cleared her debts and felt huge excitement about being back in control financially. 

Often clients are in crisis when they call up Simonne at Wise Monkey. She helps them plan their ‘debt free day’ and says it’s positively exhilarating when that day arrives and they suddenly look out at the expansive horizon and new possibilities.

But then, frequently, the next question is where do I go from here?

A little financial planning could help you achieve your big dream.

In answer to this question, Simonne has three suggestions:

Step 1) Build a contingency fund
When money is no longer going into debt repayments it can be all too tempting to rush out and spend it. Start to build an emergency reserve now so you don't plunge back into debt. Enough to live off for three months is ideal, saved somewhere accessible (e.g. in a cash ISA).

Build this fund by arranging a monthly direct debit to go out soon after you get paid.Then the money is automatically saved each month, before you can get your hands on it and spend it.

Step 2) Take a long view
Next look to that horizon and see how your financial future looks.

If you have an employee’s pension scheme review it regularly, especially the contribution rate. Sometimes the employer will match contributions up to a maximum limit. Simonne found that clients who were paying 1% of their salary into a pension pot, and the employer likewise, could get matched funding up to 8%. So by finding that extra 7% (as little as 4.2% after tax for higher rate taxpayers), they could be putting 14% more into their future.

In fact Simonne found one client for whom an extra £60 per month would result in having £238 per month invested (counting in the added contributions from her employer and top-ups from tax/national insurance savings)! Fortunately all companies are being forced to pay into pension schemes for their staff over the next few years through auto-enrolment. So check this out if you’re eligible.

Some people reduce their contributions during an expensive period in life, like buying a house or having a baby, then simply forget to increase them again.

And self-employed people, under the current rules, have to finance more of their future for themselves. Many of the self-employed hope their business will be their pension, but that can be risky. Starting to make small amounts of savings, with the power of compound interest, can make a big difference.

Simonne says it’s all about having a strategy and not necessarily at any extra cost. With some careful strategic planning now you can make a massive difference to your financial future.

Step 3) Mind the gap

Most people's financial strategy is to drift along, put a bit of money aside when they can and hope for the best. But doing some simple maths could take your future planning a step further: 

A = Assess where you’ll be a a future date. Maybe the mortgage will be paid off and the kids might even be off your hands? Work out how much income you'll need per month in today’s terms.
B = Then simply check out what state pension you'll get, and any company pension. And add in any other income, or circumstances, such as a property downgrade for instance.
Calculate A – B and you've got your shortfall

Once you know your shortfall online pension calculators show you what you would need to be saving to generate enough to provide the income you identified at A.

Pensions are boring and the future's a long way off, right? 

If that's how you feel, think of it instead as a gift to your future self. 

‘Know tomorrow comes’ is the 7^th Law of Sheconomics. That needn’t be all doom and gloom. See it as a gift to the woman you’ll be in 10, 20,30 years time. Look after her, make sure she’s ok, and she’ll be immensely grateful to you. The steps you take now could dramatically effect whether her life is a dream .... or a nightmare.

What can be more exciting than knowing the dream life you want in the future ... and planning how to get there?

A bit of me-time: it's priceless...

So I asked ten (busy, high achieving, child-encumbered) friends recently, what would make your life easier? I thought their answers might be money-related but all of them said ‘More TIME!’. And this became the theme of a talk I gave for Palmolive Naturals recently, to promote their range of shower milks. 

Many women are so busy putting everyone else’s needs first, they are desperately short of me-time.

A recent survey found that
women have on average less than
an hour a day to themselves.

The ability of women to care for others is part of innate female nature. Isn’t part of becoming a mother learning that there are others we would always willingly put before ourselves?

At the risk of some outrageous gender stereotyping I’d say we – as women - are hardwired to nurture and care about others. God in her infinite wisdom decided it would be the female of almost every species that would carry and nurture the young. And she even bestowed a special hormone – oxytocin, upon female humans to help us to do this.

On top of this biological imperative to put the needs of others before our own, we also socialize little girls from very young to please others, to make sure everyone else is OK and to even subjugate our own needs to the needs of others.

BUT

Where does this leave us when it comes to me-time?
Do we know how to put ourselves first, or even deep down believe we have the right to?

Women who work who mother, who care for others, who are walways there for ehri friends in times of need - they’re all experts at taking their responsibilities seriously, at juggling everyone’s needs. And me-time is something that gets squeezed in between a whole host of other demands – or squeezed out by them as the case may be.

A recent survey by Mumsnet found that women typically get less than one hour of me time each day….One mum said:

As a stay at home mummy with 4 children (youngest 3 months, eldest 7 years), this house really is a full time job! If I am not looking after the children, then there's the house to look after...

I hardly get any time to myself - 'free' time is used to get jobs done!! And i'm hardly in bed before 11pm. I cannot wee on my own, cannot shower without someone joining me, finish a cup of tea before it going cold (or mostly, it doesn't even make it out the kettle!) Oh, and I only use my laptop when I'm breastfeeding!!

This woman said she can’t even shower without someone joining her and yet taking a bath or shower must be one of the few occasions when we should be able to relax and indulge in some me-time ….

But how many of us really take advantage of that time?

Let’s do a quick survey of our own:

                      Own up now, do you ever:

·       Let someone else come into the bathroom when you’re bathing, or leave the door ajar so you’re ‘on call’?

·       Take your phone or laptop into the bathroom with you?

·       Clean the bath or shower when you’re in it?

I must confess I have been guilty of all of these…. and when I asked women attending my recent talks these questions there was a reluctant but significant show of hands.

So much for me-time. It’s hardly relaxing if we’re slathering ourselves with Ultra Moisturisation Olive Shower Milk and at the same time thinking, Blimey that grouting could do with a good scrub. 

A bath: the perfect stress buster.

You see it’s not enough to have beautiful body pampering products if our mind isn’t receptive to them. Mind, body and soul are inextricably linked and we have to fuse them together to really de-stress.

So in my talk I proposed a positive psychology experiment for women to try when bathing.

It’s based on classical conditioning, a technique discovered by Pavlov who you’ve probably heard of.  He experimented on dogs, and you’re probably wondering what this has got to do with your beauty regime but bear with me here…..

Pavlov fed his dogs at a regular time every day.

Just before he gave them their food he rang a bell.

He soon noticed that even without producing the food, if he rang the bell the dogs would salivate.

The dogs responded physically to the sound of the bell.

Pavlov used a sound in his conditioning experiment, but any of the senses can be used to condition peopleSmells are particularly evocative.

So here’s a technique for positive meditation while you’re bathing. When you have your morning shower or bath do this:

First of all:

Banish everyone from the bathroom, leave your phone and the CIF outside the bathroom. If necessary lock the children in a cupboard or hang a do not disturb sign on the bathroom door.

1.    Rub your favourite shower milk onto your hands and breathe in the fragrance.
2.     Keep rubbing and breathing slowly as you start to bring to mind three good things in your life.
These can be big or small things, perhaps the feeling of sitting in the sun in your favourite garden chair, the sound of your daughter giggling or your loved one’s smile.
3.     Tip more shower millk onto your sponge or hand, and move in slow circular movements all over your body.
This is the point where you’re experiencing the softness and the fragrance but you’ve got to quiet your busy mind so that it doesn’t sabotage the experience….. so
4.     As you circle keep your mind focused on your three good things. Don’t let any other negative thoughts intrude, if they do return to your positive thought.
5.     Keep this up for ten minutes. Before long you’ll feel a positive glow, as you smooth the lather all over your body nourishing your skin and your mind.

The mind and body work together, so focusing on positive thoughts while you bathe or shower will make sure you get the most relaxing experience possible.

If you practice this regularly you’ll find that just flipping the lid off your shower milk will trigger those positive thoughts and that state of relaxation.

If you feel stressed during the day take a couple of minutes to wash your hands and breathe in the fragrance. Because you’ve used that technique of associating that smell with positive thoughts it should immediately trigger a state of relaxation. You’ll have conditioned your brain to associate these pleasant feelings with the gorgeous smell and silky feel of the Palmolive naturals.

Make this part of your me time every day.

You’ll find your mind will be just as responsive as one of Pavlov’s dogs, although hopefully with a bit less dribbling.

How to dress for success

Watch a video here about first impressions and how to dress for success.....



it's great to see our University of Hertfordshire research featured in this video, which reinforces the message conveyed in an earlier post that dress disasters can ruin your job prospects ... without you even knowing it.

How much cleavage should you flash at work?

Sarah Brummitt, image consultant.

Thanks to Sarah Brummitt (right) for airing the important issue of cleavage in a corporate environment.
I must admit, I've long been bewildered by the trend for boob-flashing at work. 
And now it seems that more mammaries equals less salaries.
Sarah, an image consultant and training and development consultant, keeps us abreast of this issue:

Last year, a survey commissioned in the UK suggested that women who display too much cleavage at work could end up sabotaging their careers. More than 3,000 managers found that almost half of bosses would overlook a woman for promotions if she regularly exposed her cleavage.

Is this fair? Or is it sexist nonsense? Is cleavage cool or crass at work?

I'm not a prude - and as a small chested woman I can appreciate a fabulous bosom as much as the most hot-blooded male...but.......a glorious cleavage in the office is just not on. It's a distraction to both men AND women - but for different reasons.

1. Men see it as a clear 'come on' sign OR, they are so embarrassed they don't know where to look.

2. Women can either be continually distracted (I know I am because one of my colleagues insists on regularly exposing her cleavage and I can't help but keep looking.......). The altenative female response is to elicit some good, old-fashioned, bitchy jealousy and loathing.

As an Image Coach, I'm all about personal brand - helping professionals create a perception by colleagues which conveys the real essence of them; their reputation; their unique expertise. 

Who on earth wants to be known as the girl that always has her baps on show? 

It's not right and it's not fair, but the reality of still working in a predominantly male-orientated work environment means that to succeed in business we need to be viewed as credible, professional and authoritative.

A woman can't do that if her boobs are out.

So, ladies please - a glorious bosom is for a date, a cocktail party, a social event. It's not for the office. So button up, put them away and create a focal point somewhere else. May I suggest the face instead?

Thanks Sarah - check her out on www.sarahbrummitt.com. Thank goodness the good old polo neck is coming back into fashion.

And remember, psychological research confirms that the image you portray may be at odds with the one you intended. 

You may think that a flash of cleavage is cool, alluring even. 

They may think you look like a lap-dancer. 

Think about it next time you dress for the office and keep in mind that less is probably more.

Why what you wear really matters

Looks a bit dodgy. Not my type. Seems friendly. Love at first sight. 

Just a few of the snap judgements we're prone to make about others.

On what basis?

Many people including psychologists think it's all to do with facial features (cue Roberta Flack singing The first time ever I saw your face). Symmetrical faces and wide-apart eyes are good, anger is a no-no. But my latest research has revealed that clothes makes a huge difference to these first impressions. And the upshot of it all is (you'll like this one)....clothes can be a really marvellous investment!

We carried out the research at the University of Hertfordshire in collaboration with Mathieson & Brooke Tailors. Over 300 adults (men and women) looked at images of a man and a woman for just 3 seconds before making 'snap judgements' about them. In some of the pictures the man wore a made-to-measure suit. In others he wore a very similar off-the-peg suit bought on the high street. In some pictures the woman wore a skirt suit and in others a trouser suit of the same colour and fabric.

After just a 3-second exposure people judged the man more favourably in the bespoke suit.
They rated him as more confident, successful, flexible and a higher earner than when he wore a high street equivalent. Similarly the woman received more positive ratings in a skirt suit than in a trouser suit. Since both models' faces in the pictures were blanked out these impressions must have been formed after quickly eyeing what they were wearing.

The bespoke suit on the left made a far more positive first impression that the high street suit on the right

Clothes say a great deal about who we are and can signal our social status to others. It even starts in childhood - one study found that teachers made assumptions about children's academic ability based on their clothing. And research has even hinted that women should dress more like men if they want to succeed. A study by Forsythe (1990) tested this using a mock interview for a management position. The more masculine the clothing worn by female applicants the greater the perception of their management potential. Fortunately, although it used a different methodology, my findings suggest the opposite. 
After just a 3 second exposure the female in the skirt suit received more positive ratings than in the trouser suit. 
It's reassuring that women can dress in more feminine ways and still be taken seriously.  Be careful about the plunging neckline or micro-skirt though, you can take things too far and other research shows provocative clothing is viewed as indicative of low professional status.

This woman made a more positive impression in the skirt than in the trouser suit.

Sartorial laziness is an easy habit to slip into. We may think that fashion is just profligate indulgence and our sunny personality will eclipse our dull attire or detract from the soup stains on our anorak. Untrue. What we wear speaks volumes in just a few seconds. Dressing to impress really is worthwhile and could even be the key to success. 

How do you do this in the current economic climate? In an earlier blog I gave some tips for the cash-strapped fashionista along with Style Psychologist Kate Nightingale. I also asked David Brooke of M&BT whether we could justify splashing out on bespoke tailoring. He said: 

“A made-to-measure suit is undoubtedly more expensive than some high street suits, but does not need to break the bank. In fact, an M&BT made-to-measure suit is always better quality and lasts far longer than off-the-peg suits. A bespoke, or made-to-measure suit, in light of this research, must be seen as an investment in your career and an essential ingredient to your personal success.”

As a clothes lover (and in the spirit of my new position as Professor of Fashion Psychology at the University of Bilgi, Istanbul) I naturally have to agree with David. Also, in our Do Something Different philosophy, shaking up your wardrobe and projecting a new outer image is a great way to start changing behaviour.

More fashion-related blogs coming this way soon...

You can download a summary of the research from the Psychology of Fashion page of my website

Why we give our daughters dresses to wear and our sons problems to solve

This week the retailing giant Debenhams revealed that parents spend 20% more on their daughters’ clothes than on their sons'. 

Over the lifetime of childhood that adds up to a lot of pink frocks and sparkly tops. In a report on this for the Daily Mail I was asked the killer question of whether it was nature or nurture. There’s never a simple answer to that question but in this case I plumped for nurture. Look how we still praise girls for looking pretty and comment on their appearance, whereas with boys parents are more likely to get excited when he masters their mobile phone functionality.

Whether or not we know we’re doing it, parents start to treat boys and girls differently in the delivery room. Studies show that parents describe their newborn daughters as more delicate and having finer features than boys, even though gender differences aren’t visible early on. So if you dressed all babies in green (rather than pink or blue) we couldn’t tell which gender they were, with a nappy on of course. (You can fluster adults by handing them a baby and not telling them which sex it is, they really don’t know how to behave).

Later on the difference treatment continues:

·      Parents play more roughly with boy babies than girls.

·      They allow boys to explore more as toddlers.

·      They use more emotion words with girls than boys.

·      They encourage girls more in play that involves domestic themes and dressing up.

These subtle signals create the child’s early gender identity. Girls get more parental and societal approval for ‘looking pretty’, sending the message that what they wear is important to others. As little girls grow, they are socialized to continue to care about their appearance. Society glamorizes the female image and places heavy emphasis on the outward show. I guess that’s why women shop more but it must also subtly skew their aspirations and futures. We buy girls princess outfits and boys get Superman costumes. No wonder only 6% of UK engineers are women (the lowest in the EU) compared to 40% in China (according to the Institute of Technology).

Of course, there will be a myriad of reasons for this difference but spending less of their formative years in dress shops may have had something to do with it. 


I AM CURRENTLY RESEARCHING THE CONNECTION BETWEEN FASHION AND WOMEN'S EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING. THE SURVEY IS OPEN UNTIL THE END OF AUGUST AND ONLY TAKES 5-10 MINUTES TO COMPLETE: PLEASE TAKE PART

Click here to take survey

The value of a mum in cash terms is £?

WE'RE VERY HAPPY TO HAVE A VISIT FROM BECKY FROM BABYBUDGETING.CO.UK WHO IS OUR GUEST BLOGGER TODAY.

HERE'S WHAT BECKY HAS TO SAY:

Hi I'm Becky and I blog over at Baby Budgeting (www.babybudgeting.co.uk) a 

website for families trying to be savvy with their finances. I am also the 

author of How to afford timeoff with your baby (Vermilion 09)I am a  stay at 

home mum and freelance writer and I do everything around the home. I should 

be a rich womn apparently!

Legal & General have just released some research which finds that the unpaid 

work a Mum does around the home would cost £30,032 to replace (and the 

equivalent for a Dad would cost £21,306).

Here are some more nuggets ( to be used when you need them!) from the 

“Value of a Mum” survey :

-       Despite many Mums working they still spend an extra nine hours a 

week with the children compared to Dads.

-       Mums are still feeling that the burden of looking after the home 

falls to them, with 45% wishing that their partners would do more to help 

with housework and childcare.

-       Even those mums who have part-time jobs don’t hugely reduce the 

amount of time dedicated to parenting – the value of part-time worker mums 

is £28,664 compared to the value of those who don’t work, £31,523

-       The day to day costs of looking after children have gone up 8.3% 

over the last two years, rising from £132 a week to £143 and a massive 31% 

since 1999 when the figure was £109.

Mums do really important unpaid work around the home and they are 

increasingly combining this with a full or part-time job, which means that 

their families are getting pretty good value for their efforts!

The research highlights just how easy it is to underestimate the value of 

the unpaid work parents do and the importance of planning for a future where 

one parent may be unable to work due to illness or bereavement.  It shows 

that 42% of mums and dads feel people should have financial protection in 

place in case anything were to happen to them, but in reality only a quarter 

(24%) of them actually do.

So where’s my 30k then?


Has anyone seen it...?



THANKS BECKY.
DON'T FORGET TO POP OVER TO HER SITE FOR LOTS OF FAMILY FINANCE TIPS