How's YOUR self-acceptance?

Self-acceptance could be the key to a happier life, yet it’s the happy habit many people practise the least.

Happiness is more than just a feeling; it is something we can all practise on a daily basis. But people are better at some ‘happy habits’ than others. In fact, the one habit that corresponds most closely with us being satisfied with our lives overall – self-acceptance – is often the one we practise least.

5,000 people surveyed by the charity Action for Happiness, in collaboration with Do Something Different, rated themselves between 1 and 10 on ten habits identified  as being key to happiness.

How often are you kind to yourself and think you’re fine as you are? 

When answering this Acceptance question, people’s average rating was just 5.56 out of 10. Only 5% of people put themselves happily at a 10 on the Acceptance habit and almost half (46%) of people rated themselves at 5 or less. There's some work to be done there (tips below).

How often do you make an effort to help or be kind to others?

Giving was the top habit revealed by those who took the survey. When asked the question above people scored an average of 7.41 out of 10, with a generous one in six (17%) topping 10 out of 10. Just over one in three (36%) people scored 8 or 9; slightly fewer (32%) scored 6 or 7; and less than one in six (15%) rated themselves at 5 or less.

Being connected to others boosts our happiness so making an effort with
 those people who matter to us is a happy habit.

How often do you put effort into the relationships that matter most to you? 

The Relating habit came a close second. The question above about how well we maintain and nurture our close relationships produced an average score of 7.36 out of 10. 

And a lovely 15% of people scored the maximum 10 out of 10!

Overall how satisfied are you with your life?

The survey also revealed which habits are most closely related to people’s overall satisfaction with life. All 10 habits were found to be strongly linked to life satisfaction, with Acceptance found to be the habit that predicts it most strongly. Yet Acceptance was also revealed as the habit that people tend to practise the least, generating the lowest average score from the 5,000 respondents.

How often do you spend at least half an hour a day being active? 

Treating our bodies to regular physical activity is another proven happy habit. Yet the survey revealed that this is another habit that we don't all get round to practising. The average answer to the exercise question above was just 5.88 out of 10, with 45% of couch-huggers rating themselves 5 or less.

How do you get the happy habit?

If you want to boost your happy habits check out the new Do Happiness programme. It costs just £15 for a profile and regular small positive actions (Do’s) by text and email, customised so you can practice your happy habits daily. 

And signing up will be your first act of Giving because, for each programme sold Do Something Different, gives one away free to someone who can't afford it.

How to practise the self-acceptance habit.

Here are three positive actions that people can take to increase their levels of self-acceptance:

·      Be as kind to yourself as you are to others. See your mistakes as opportunities to learn. Notice things you do well, however small

·      Ask a trusted friend or colleague to tell you what your strengths are or what they value about you

·      Spend some quiet time by yourself. Tune in to how you're feeling inside and try to be at peace with who you are.

Where did the happy habits come from?

The happy habits included in the survey are based on the Ten Keys to Happier Living framework, developed by Action for Happiness based on an extensive review of the latest research about what really affects mental wellbeing. Together the Ten Keys spell the acronym GREAT DREAM, as follows:

·      Giving: do things for others

·      Relating: connect with people

·      Exercising: take care of your body

·      Appreciating: notice the world around

·      Trying out: keep learning new things

·      Direction: have goals to look forward to

·      Resilience: find ways to bounce back

·      Emotion: take a positive approach

·      Acceptance: be comfortable with who you are

·      Meaning: be part of something bigger

Don't forget if you're feeling like you've let your happy habits slip, you can still get them back and turn your life around. Check out http:dsd.me/dohappiness

Buy, give and give again!

Is there someone in your life who’s ‘impossible to buy for’?

Or a person who deserves an extra special gift?

How about the gift of happiness?

Do Something Different (the movement co-founded by Professor Karen Pine) has teamed up with Action for Happiness to create Do Happiness. It’s all about less moaning and more appreciating.  Less rushing around and more stopping and smelling the mince pies. More turning frowns upside down.

And when you buy one happiness programme you automatically create a free one for someone who can’t afford it. So it’s smiles all round.

Do Happiness is a six-week programme of small personalised actions (Do’s) designed to supercharge your happiness levels - and spread happiness to others.

Do Happiness

How does it work?

It’s simple. The Do-er does a quick online happiness questionnaire. Then they are sent daily Do’s: powerful actions designed by psychologists, and picked especially for them, to act upon. And access to a Do Zone in which to log and share them.

Do's are small positive actions that arrive by text and/or email

How much does it cost?

Do Happiness costs £15 for a six-week programme – a total of 32 daily Do’s sent by email and/or text. That’s less than the cost of a massage for something that lasts much longer and isn’t so oily. Each programme that’s started automatically releases one free of charge to a less-fortunate person on the list. That’s the first act of kindness. And there are more smile-generating acts to follow.

Show your friends and family some happy love

Plant some extra happiness in your own life, or that of friends and family, and watch the happiness blossom and grow right into next year, one Do at a time.

Find out more

Happiness. The best gift you can give.

Imagine a gift that lasts and lasts. that doesn't sit on a shelf. or get eaten. OR get taken back to the shop.

 One that brings happiness not for a fleeting moment. But for weeks or months.

Imagine treating a loved-one to that for just £15 - and at the same time gifting it to a person somewhere who can't afford it.

That's what's behind the Do Happiness Programme. The latest joyful offering from Do Something Different and Action for Happiness. 

 from the latest blog at www.dsd.me :

Created with our friends at Action for Happiness, Do Happiness is a six-week programme of personally tailored small actions (Do’s) designed to help you to develop more happiness for yourself and for the people around you.

How does it work?

It’s simple. You carry out our quick online happiness questionnaire. We then send you daily Do’s: psychologically powerful actions designed by our expert psychologists and picked especially for you to help bring more happiness into your life.

How will it help you to be happier?

The programme has been created around Action for Happiness’ 10 keys to happier living. Based on the latest research, the 10 keys are things that have been see to consistently make people’s lives happier and more fulfilling. Together they spell “GREAT DREAM”:

• Giving
• Relating
• Exercising
• Appreciating
• Trying out

• Direction
• Resilience
• Emotion
• Acceptance
• Meaning

Your Do Happiness programme will give you Do’s that will help you to explore any of the keys that might be lacking in your life, together with some inspirational quotes. All in all you get 32 Do’s over six weeks, with each one inviting you to do things that are known to increase happiness in our lives, and the in the lives of people around us. Some of them will be quite small, like appreciating things around you for example. Others, like carrying out a random act of kindness or contacting someone from the past you have lost contact with, might take a little courage.

Taken together, your Do’s will help you to practise happy habits almost every day for six weeks. Practise making scones or playing badminton for six weeks and you’ll find you’re much better at it by the end. The same applies to happiness!

Share the happiness

Everyone on the Do Happiness programme can share comments in our Do Zone and help one another along. Individuals might choose to sign up with a friend or family member and do it together. It’s also great for small companies or departments within companies who want to boost morale or just have some fun together.

We give one away free for everyone who joins

Because we don’t think money should get in the way of happiness, every place that's bought generates a place for someone that can’t afford it. 

People who can’t afford it can register on the waiting list to get a place as soon as it comes available. 

What’s more, people who buy a place instantly help someone who needs it, which means they’re spreading happiness as soon as they sign up.

How much does it cost?

Do Happiness costs £15 for a six-week programme – a total of 32 daily Do’s sent by email (and/or text to your mobile phone if you’re inside the EU). That’s less than the cost of a massage for something that lasts a lot, lot longer.

Boost your happiness today

Bring some extra happiness into your life, your family and friends’ lives or your business, and look forward to more happiness, one Do at a time.

Find out more or join now

Visit Action for Happiness

Can happiness be bought, and how much does it cost?

Finally. Sunny days have arrived. People everywhere are wearing less and smiling more. A bit of sunshine certainly does wonders for our happiness. But what does money do for our happiness levels? 

Does money make you happy?

Generally, the research shows that - above a certain level of income - having more money doesn’t make people any happier. Having more friends and better relationships does. But there is a link between financial health and mental wellbeing.

And a lack of money often causes unhappiness. 

So can we spend money in a way that will boost our happiness levels? 

It seems that we can, in these ways:

•      Spend money on experiences rather than material goods and you’ll be smiling more. Happy times leave positive memory traces that we can call up when we’re feeling down; they also connect us to other people which is critical to our happiness. Just going outside for 20 minutes a day has been shown to boost positive mood.
•      Spend money on other people and you’ll feel happier. Yes, even happier than if you spent it on yourself. Treating a friend to breakfast at a local brasserie and having a good chat will bring more joy than another pair of shoes. Being more socially involved has been shown to be worth up to £85,000 extra income. Or spend money on a stranger by paying it forward and see how good that feels.
•      Spend money now that will bring future returns. Most people consume now and pay later. Pay now, consume later and life will seem a whole lot better, spiced up with the anticipation of the joy to come. The brain releases happy chemicals when we are anticipating happy times ahead so max out on lots of those. Even if you can't afford a holiday, just planning a break from work will make you feel happier.
•        Spend on things you love now and again. If something is a special treat rather than part of the fabric of your life, you’ll feel happier if you indulge yourself occasionally. We all like a little luxury now and again.
•             Spend money in ways that brings you more quality time. If your precious spare time is spent cleaning the house, spend money on a cleaner not on a better car. Big house, long commute? A shorter commute and smaller house could be the answer.Or just consider getting rid of your TV and instantly giving yourself more time.

COMING LATER THIS YEAR: In conjunction with Action for Happiness we at Do Something Different are launching a Do Happiness programme, an online programme to boost and spread happiness. Watch this space for more info!

Feeling down, dressing down?

Why do some women dress down? We probably all know a woman who, despite her model figure and gorgeous face, doesn't want to be noticed. So she wears camouflage clothes. Not of the army surplus variety, I mean clothes that blend into the background. Often her other half has an ego so huge she’s creeping around in his shadow.
It’s the human equivalent of the spectacularly flashy peacock with his bland bride.
It makes me wonder whether someone has told Kate Middleton to ‘tone it down a bit, love’ for fear she outshines her prince. We all know what happens when a royal girl does that.

Trouble is, if a woman is suppressing her appearance how much of her personality is she also giving up?

Not wanting to be noticed can have many root causes

Appearance anxiety

Appearance anxiety lies behind a lot of dowdy dressing. Many women suffer from body dissatisfaction, and even have feelings of disgust about their physical appearance. These women end up hiding from their own bodies. But they may also be hiding from themselves. Deep down there may be parts of their inner self they are denying. The answer might be to dress as the person they'd like to be, to try and trick the psyche into a more positive state. Try bright saturated hues, funky prints and playful accessories.

Comfort clothing

Everyone knows about comfort food. It’s the bad stuff you eat when you think you deserve it and can’t give a toss about the consequences. I think there’s comfort shopping too. And comfort clothing. The wardrobe equivalent of hob-nobs and chocolate cake. Clothes that are bad for you but beckon to you when feeling down. Jeans and baggy tops are the hob-nobs and chocolate cake of the female wardrobe, my recent research found. They’re comfort clothes that women reach for when they’re in the doldrums.  But when she sees in the mirror how rubbish she looks those negative feelings get reinforced. That's where a downward spiral can begin. But just as it's best not to have too many hob-nobs in the house if you've a biscuit habit, the trick here is to purge your wardrobe of those bad-for-you items too. Start by binning anything that's beige and boring.

Inner and outer happiness

Enclothed cognition

An outfit can both reflect and generate an emotional state. Recent research* shows that our clothes influence how we think and feel. So dressing down should be taken seriously. It could be a sign of depression, poor body image, even a relationship that’s off-balance. Researchers from Manchester  University** have shown that trying on unfamiliar clothes can influence both positive and negative mood states. Basically clothes can cheer you up or drag you down. So if you dress down don’t be surprised if you end up feeling a bit crap too. Perhaps the answer is this....

Happy clothes
I’ve been working with Vogue in Turkey to come up with ideas for mood-enhancing outfits. The prospect that an outfit could ward off depression is very appealing, a nice alternative to drugs.
More to come on that soon. Meanwhile I’m off to put on something neon-bright and snug-fitting. As soon as I’ve finished this chocolate cake.

Interested in the psychology of fashion? Then you'll love the guest blog coming later this week from Dr Jennifer Baumgartner, author of You Are What You Wear. Sign up to follow this blog now.

* Adam, H. & Galinsky, A.D., Enclothed Cognition, Journal of  Experimental Social Psychology (2012). doi: 10.1016/j.jesp.2012.02.008 **Moody et al (1996) An exploratory study: Relationships between trying on clothing, mood, emotion, personality and clothing preference Journal of Fashion Marketing and Management, 14, 1, (pp. 161 - 179)