Small changes you can make for a big difference

One of my favourite quotes is

“The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it”.

I think it was H D Thoreau who muttered those wise words. And it got me thinking.  

Thinking about how much life gets wasted on meaningless self-lobotomising activities. 

If you add up the hours you’ve spent watching mind-numbing TV, or waiting in for tradesmen, playing Angry Birds or even sleeping, it would add up to years, even decades of your life.

OK, we’ve all got to sleep and personally I love my bed as much as the next woman (or should I say man?). But I worked out that if I made a few small changes to my life the impact could be enormous.

For example, did you know that:

1. If you get up 15 minutes earlier every day you will gain ninety one extra hours of waking life in one year. That’s days and days of extra time!
2. If you save £1 a day every day for two years, you'll be able to travel anywhere in the world.
3. If you write one hundred words a day in two years you will have a full-length novel.
4. If you show real interest in everyone you meet every day, in two months you could have 60 new friends.
5.  If you over-pay on your mortgage by £20 pounds a month you’ll pay off your mortgage 20 months earlier  - and save £5515 in interest alone. (based on 100,000 mortgage over 25 years at 5% interest)
6. If you do one extra press-up every day you'll double your fitness level in 3 months.
7. If you photograph one small thing every day, after a year you'll have boosted your levels of awareness - and have an awesome photojournal.
   
8. If you donate £1.25 a week to Oxfam you will buy 288 buckets of pure, clean drinkable buckets of water a year for a family.
9. If you cut out one can of fizzy drink every day you'll lose 10 pounds in 6 months (without making any other changes).
10.  If you cut out one hour of TV from your life you would have an extra 7 hours free time a week, or the equivalent of two full days extra every month.

It all adds up doesn’t it? Small changes equal big difference. That’s exactly the philosophy beind our Do Something Different behaviour change technique. People make one small change regularly and they tell us a big shift soon happens in their life.

Today I’ve been talking on the radio about me-time. I was supporting a campaign by Palmolive to encourage women to claim back me-time. Unlike blokes, not many women have a shed to retreat to. So the idea is that we can pamper ourselves for 20 minutes a day in the shower (with their yummy Ayurituelsshower gels) and restore our health and well-being. Scented candles, nice music, petals and a glass of fizz are optional extras of course. But think about it, if you have a pampering experience for 20 minutes in the shower every day, you’ll save the cost of going to a spa…

HAVE YOU ever changed one small thing and found it's added up to a big difference?

Take action to soften the pensions blow now

According to figures from Prudential less than a third of women expect to be financially comfortable in retirement. 
And many of those women might be overly optimistic. 
This year the average expected retirement income is £15,500. That's averaged across both genders and so for women it's likely to be considerably lower. And the trend is downwards.

The Guardian 27th January 2012

If this bothers you or affects you then use the government's state pension calculator to work out what you'll be entitled to at retirement.
Then have a read of our chapter called 'Know Tomorrow Comes' in Sheconomics, in which we demystify the pension minefield.
Then I urge you to have a look at this Guardian article - because there are steps you can take to improve your prospects. But you have to act now. Yes now. Go on, do it.

THE BEST THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO ANTICIPATE

Here's a quote I came across recently by the managing director of Harrods, Michael Ward, who apparently said:

“What luxury is about is having the most beautiful experience,

 that’s what people love.”

Is luxury just a beautiful experience - or more than that?

Do you agree? I think he’s only partly right. Because experiences, however beautiful, are also often fleeting, transient, gone in an instant.

Real luxury, I would argue, is about anticipating the most beautiful experience.

That’s because brain research now tells us that pleasure isn’t just experiential. It’s anticipatory. We know our brains have pleasure detectors. When we acquire an object of desire, or see a lover’s smile or taste a wonderful champagne, a rush of happy chemicals go sloshing through the brain.

But those happy chemicals also get released when we anticipate something we love. In fact we get a bigger rush from anticipating than we do from experiencing.

Scientists from the University Medical Centre in Hamburg recently conducted tests that measure brain activity and found that our brains experience more pleasure when we are working towards something than when we actually achieve it.
(So that's why makers of designer handbags create waiting lists)

That’s why luxury in the form of real quality brings lasting satisfaction, it’s why craftsmanship persists and why bling will only ever bring transient satisfaction, to the producer and to the consumer.

Science has proved that it’s anticipation that makes us happy, that long-termism always trumps short-termism and that a delayed reward brings more pleasure than an instant reward.

Interestingly the scientists found also discovered that regular hints about the upcoming reward can boost our feelings of pleasure, when people in the lab were reminded of something that was worth waiting for the pleasure centres in their brains lit up.

So if you have a special bottle of GH Mumm champagne tucked away for a special occasion, having a quick peek at it on regular occasions will be sure to boost your happiness levels.

Dreaming about future pleasures can bring more happiness than experiencing them. 

Think about holidays too. We’re all supposed to love holidays.  Do you like planning a holiday, looking at images of tropical beaches, beautiful sunsets, sumptuous hotels, imagining a place where the sun always shines and you’ve left all your worries behind in Heathrow’s departure lounge? 

Well researchers in the Netherlands recently showed that we get a larger boost in happiness from planning a holiday than we do from the holiday itself. They studied the happiness levels of over 1000 Dutch adults and found that happiness levels were highest when people were planning their holiday.

In fact they argue that if you really want holidays to make you happier you shouldn’t just have one long one, you should have lots of shorter ones so you maximise the time spent in anticipation.

Intuitively we all know this and evolutionary psychology accounts for why we’re drawn to products that embody this waiting process, that stand for timelessless and are characterised by tradition and craftsmanship.

Ironically though nowadays we are rarely encouraged to wait. We live in an immediate gratification society, instant messaging, fast food, ready credit and computer games where you can kill your enemies at the touch of a button.

Are we all going to lose the ability to delay our pleasures? During boom times that is always a risk but during a recession different types of processes operate. That’s when delayed gratification comes to the fore.

  

Because psychological research shows being able to delay gratification is a sign of higher cognitive ability, one that’s more recently evolved. A sign of maturity that’s even linked to quality of life.

Resisting temptation is hard if you like immediate gratification. 

You may have heard of the famous marshmallow test that an American psychologist called Walter Mischel carried out on children in the 1960’s. Mischel offered young children, around 3 and 4 years of age, a marshmallow. He put it in front of them and said they could eat it now OR if they could wait while he stepped out for a few minutes when he came back they could have two marshmallows.

Most children couldn’t wait. They either ate it as soon as he was out of the room or sat and squirmed for a while and then caved in and ate it. Some covered their eyes with their hands or turned their back on the marshmallow so that they can’t see it.

One girl stroked the marshmallow lovingly; another boy looked carefully around the room to make sure that nobody could see him then picked it up sucked it and put it back!

Some children managed to wait 15 minutes.

But about 30% of the children wrestled with temptation but stuck it out for a full fifteen minutes. They were ones who could delay gratification in return for a second marshmallow. Years later the experimenters followed up the children to adulthood.

The ones who could wait did better at school, were more successful in their careers and in their relationships.

The instant gratifiers, the ones who couldn’t wait, on the other hand were more likely to have behavioural problems at school, or problems at home.

The moral of this story is that waiting is a higher-cognitive skill, a sign of maturity and those who can delay gratification have a better quality of life.

Delayed and immediate gratification originate in different parts of the human brain.

More recently brain researchers have found the key to the link between delayed gratification and intelligence. Different parts of the brain get activated by immediate and delayed rewards.

The need for immediate reward is driven by the more primitive part of the brain – the part that might impel the purchaser towards quick fixes, impulse buys, bling and disposable luxury.

But when people choose longer term options they use the frontal-parietal part of the brain, that is situated in the more recently evolved pre-frontal cortex - the part that differentiates us from animals and from our ancestors – it gives us the ability to reason, to plan ahead and exercise self-control.

So delayed gratification and the ethic of the craftsman overlap and reinforce each other in that both require a certain construction of the future, a certain ideal of stability and longevity.

That’s why brands that are associated with longevity, with craftsmanship and tradition, will continue to have lasting appeal whatever the economic climate but especially when people want every penny they spend to have value.

So Michael Ward was only partly right when he said that luxury is having a beautiful experience, it’s more than that.

The best things come to those who anticipate….

 This is the talk I gave to the G.H. Mumm Perrier-Jouet Champagne Assembly on 27th January.

PS When researching this article I discovered there's even a magazine called Delayed Gratification. I thought it might be found right on the top shelf of the newsagents, or only published every other year, but it seems it's out quarterly and rather sensibly measures news in months not minutes. Like all good things in life it says it is beautiful, collectable and designed to be treasured.http://www.dgquarterly.com/

Six self-enhancement purchases for 2012 (totalling under a tenner too):

How can a second-hand book, a pedometer, a cheap brolly, a pair of tights, six second-class stamps and a packet of seeds add up to self-enhancement? Here's how:

·      Get stuck in to a stonking good used novel   COST 1p

A can’t-put-it-down novel is the perfect way to cherish yourself. On Amazon are tons of good used books available from dealers for just 0.01p. No kidding. Sure they make money on the postage but if you add your 1p book to someone else’s Amazon order you won’t pay extra. Here are some of my all-time favourites all available for 1p:

Any Human Heart by William Boyd

Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates

Perfume by Patrisk Suskind

Room by Emma Donoghue

·      Get a pedometer   COST 78p

Walking is the best way to trim your body and lift your mood. Use a pedometer to see how many steps you can clock up in a day, aiming for 10,000. If you’re monitoring every step it’s amazing how many ways you find to walk a bit further. You’ll be healthier and happier and won’t have been near a gym or put on lycra. This one from Amazon really is only 78p. OK it probably is crap for that price so go for a better one if you can.

Walk your way to health for under £1

·      Leave magazines on the shelf    COST £0

Women feel worse after looking at a magazine (all that social comparison is depressing). And why waste money on mags full of  glossy adverts peddling the 'happiness through having' myth?  There are good free online magazines instead. Or if you must spend out then at least help someone by doing it and buy the Big Issue. Or buy a mag that doesn't bang on about shoes and handbags and whose maxim is 'Curiosity is sacred' - Oh Comely magazine.

·      Spend on a stranger    COST  £1

Research shows we feel happier after spending money on someone else than after spending it on ourselves. When caught in a Tokyo downpour once a Japanese lady came up and gave me an umbrella. I was so touched by her kindness. Why not buy a £1 brolly from a pound store and give it to someone caught in the rain. They'll love you for it. Or jump on the Pay It Forward bandwagon, pay for the next person's coffee in a queue or the next car's toll. I guarantee you'll feel happier.

 Colour up  COST £3.99

Bright colours and a personal treat to cheer the soul. Quell the urge to clothes shop by splashing out on some really brightly coloured tights. They're cheap and cheerful and will add that touch of wackiness to any outfit that's feeling a tad tired. These cerise pink ones are from H&M

·      Six second class stamps     COST £2.16

Another way of getting pleasure through giving. Don't you love getting a letter or card with a stamp on? it's a rare pleasure nowadays. Send 6 letters or cards to loved ones, long-lost friends or just people you know. Say hello, suggest a meet-up, thank them for being in your life or tell them why they matter to you. At 36p each you'll be spreading shed-loads of happiness that'll soon come bouncing back your way.  

Long time no write.

Plant seeds    COST £1.55

        Connecting with nature is so good for the soul.

        You'll feel such a smug-filled sense of satisfaction when you grow something from scratch. I recommend a packet of rocket seeds, dead easy to grow and you'll be nibbling the leaves all summer and sharing them with friends. Even better are nasturtiums, you can chuck the seeds on poor soil and they'll still provide a riot of fiery flowers right through the summer. Even better, you get poor-man's capers from the seeds and the flowers are edible too! 

       Green fingers, flowers and food - the perfect ingredients for super self-enhancement. 

     TOTAL INVESTMENT?     £9.49

     

     HAPPINESS SPREAD AND RETURNED?  PRICELESS!

Try these tips in 2012 and let us know how you got on!

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Will seeing our older self change what we do?

Mid-life woman comes across a frog.

“Kiss me, kiss me and I’ll turn into a handsome prince” says the frog.

Mid-life woman looks at the frog.

“Go on”, he says, “aren’t you going to kiss me?”

“At my time of life”, mid-life woman says,“ I think I’m actually more interested in a talking frog.”

Let’s face it, our needs change as we get older. I’d be the first to admit that a bacardi breezer only appeals because it has the word cardi in it. But as humans we’re pretty rubbish at predicting the needs of our future selves. Hence we’d rather spend now than save for the future. And ‘pension’ is not the coolest word in a at twenty-something’s vocabulary.

Psychologists are keen to know how we can close the psychological distance between the ‘present self’ and the ‘future self’. Because for some of us our future self is so remote it could be another person, a complete stranger in fact. And we neglect that person at our peril.

Hal Ersner-Hershfield from Northwestern University USA summed it up like this:

To those estranged from their future selves, saving is like a choice between spending money today or giving it to a stranger years from now.

In my lab we’re carrying out a neat experiment to see if we can bring people closer to their future selves. We’re making them look at images of themselves when older (using computer technology). Then we’re asking them about their motivations to save, quit smoking and live a healthier life. We’ll compare the results with people who simply look at images of their present selves.

I’ll let you know what we find.

This is me after ageing technology has been applied (not after a heavy weekend).
Not sure I'll really get wrinkles on my fringe though...

Women get a grip on money in 2010, while men get ahead

The recession has certainly made us focus more on money management, but whereas women hope to get a better a grip on their finances in 2010, men are set on making as much as they can.

Men and women differ in their financial resolutions, according to our recent research. Men will be focusing on maximising income, with almost three quarters of them concentrating on making more money in 2010.

Although roughly half the women said making money was a priority for 2010, many more of them said taking charge of their finances was their uppermost goal for the coming year. Our survey revealed:

Women’s top 3 money resolutions for 2010:

1. Take charge of my finances more (66%)

2. Get better value for money (63%)

3. Plan my financial future (62%)

Men’s top 3 money resolutions for 2010:

1. Plan how to make more money (73%)

2. Plan my financial future (70%)

3. Get better value for money (70%)

The fact that more women want to get a grip on their finances is great news. But making money shouldn't only be a male domain, so why not unleash your inner entrepreneur in twenty ten?