You can't turn over the corner of a Kindle page...

We’ve finally been Kindled. 

It took a while but this year Sheconomics came out on Kindle edition. 

As it’s four years since our book was published it's fabulous that people still want to buy it. Even last week a PR contact popped this at the bottom of her email:

 Ps I think your book is working. I went into Space NK last weekend and bought one thing instead of 3 so I think that's progress

How do you feel about Kindle books? As a voracious reader I’ve been pondering the pros and cons…..

Pros

• ·       I can hear Mariella Frostrup raving about a book on Radio 4 and have downloaded it before she’s done gushing.
• ·       I can take 14 heavy books abroad with me and stay within the measly baggage allowance that punitive airlines inflict on passengers these days.
• ·       With my Paperwhite Kindle I can read at night without waking my husband by flooding the room with light so he thinks there's a police raid. I can even adjust its lighting levels depending on where I am.
• ·       Kindle editions are usually cheaper than printed books. In fact I’ve downloaded hundreds of classics for free.
• ·       I can highlight away to my heart’s content and view my clips in an electronic version on my computer later. I used to laboriously copy our favourite passages and quotes.
• ·       (I know others say an advantage of the Kindle is that others can’t see what you’re reading [in a Fifty Shades kind of way] but I don’t care who sees what I’m reading. It's just not racy that anyway).

So would I eschew printed books in favour of my electronic friend? 

Here are what I see as the cons of the Kindle …

• ·       I love the feel, smell and completely tactile experience of a real book; technology doesn’t offer the same sensual pleasure as a much-loved paperback with turned-over corners.
• ·       I like reading in the bath. And, yes, I confess I do take it in there with me sometimes. But I know it’s only a matter of time before it slips through soapy fingers and stops working. I'd read in the shower too if I could.
• ·       I love passing favourite books on to friends. I still do that sometimes, but that means buying them the real thing after I’ve read it on Kindle (and how sheconomical is that?).
• ·       With non-fiction I love to dip in and out or flick through the pages for bits that catch my eye. That's tricky to do on a Kindle. 
• ·       I have read whole books on Kindle without having the foggiest idea of the book’s title. Or the author. That’s because I see it once –at the start – but it never appears again. At least with a real book the cover gets imprinted on the brain and you know what you’ve read.

So, the choice is yours. If you’re a Kindle kinda girl you can buy Sheconomics on Kindle for £4.99  

or if you want to see it in all its pink glory and dip in and out of real pages, then you can buy the print copy of Sheconomics on Amazon, where the average rating is still five lovely stars.

I'd be interested to know whether you think these electronic devices spell the end of the real book. Or whether we'll always want the thrill of crunchy pages, musty smells and jazzy jackets..... 

Why grubby notes may slip through your fingers faster.

When I popped a few notes into a card for my niece this Christmas I made sure the notes were new and crisp, rather than crumpled grubby ones.

Why should that matter, I wondered.

Surely a tenner is still worth ten pounds, whether the note is freshly minted or has been through a hundred hands. Or is it? New research from the University of Guelph** shows that not all notes are created equal, and we’ll cherish new ones over grubby ones any time.

I wouldn’t give my niece a dirty note just as I wouldn’t give her a pair of pre-worn socks.

In five different studies, the Guelph researchers gave people old or new notes to spend (bet they didn’t have trouble finding participants for that study). People spent more and took more chances with older, worn money. Each time the same main reason emerged: people don’t like "dirty money."

Apparently it's the 'ick' factor: the idea of touching something that others have handled. People want to rid themselves of worn currency, fearing the contamination from others.

People value a crisp new note because they take pride in it, almost viewing it as a reflection of themselves. So, when spending around others, we are more likely to hand over our new-looking currency, even if we have to use four £5 notes rather than one crumpled £20 note. It's about social currency. If the transaction has no social value you'll get rid of your old notes. But when spending (or giving) to impress you want your notes to spell 'clean'.

I wouldn’t give my niece a dirty note just as I wouldn’t give her a pair of pre-worn socks. This challenges the long-held belief that we take money at face value - it’s actually subject to the same inferences and biases as the products it can buy.

**Fabrizio Di Muro and Theodore J. Noseworthy. Money Isn’t Everything, but It Helps If It Doesn’t Look Used: How the Physical Appearance of Money Influences Spending. Journal of Consumer Research, April 2013

Oh it's a hot water bottle cover and other tell-tale signs of failed gifts.

Yes, Christmas has been sprung on us again this year (how did that happen?) and the potential for danger once again is huge. 
And I don't mean danger from fizzling fairy lights that the cat peed on, or from undercooked turkey or oversozzled relatives. 
No, I mean the danger of the disastrous gift. 

A large proportion of presents, probably at least a third, are destined to bring out the liar in us all. The biggest lie spoken over the festive period being, "It's just what I always wanted."
My previous research has found a number of facts about failed festive gifts, i.e.:

• 89% of women will pretend to like a gift they hate, 79% of men will.
• Half of all people get at least one present they dislike.
• Half will lie to a loved one about a gift, pretending to like it.
• 1 in 4 people say giving a gift makes them feel anxious.
• 1 in 5 people say receiving a gift makes them feel anxious.
• Men find the whole gift giving and getting thing maore anxiety inducing than women.

But of course we're all very good at hiding our true feelings about those bungled pressies aren't we? Not so. My research also showed that our true feelings leak out in our non-verbal behaviour, even when we're professing to love something. Notably:

• We make eye contact with the giver if we like the gift. If we don't like it we avoid eye contact.
• We produce a fake smile using only the mouth (not the eye) muscles when pretending to like a gift.
• We display a gift we like and show it off to others, but are more likely to rewrap or cover a disliked gift.

It's also been found that when we don't like a gift (and therefore don't know what to say about it) we're likely to simply announce what the gift is. 

As in, "Oh, it's a HOT-WATER BOTTLE COVER." 

Said aloud, with rising intonation, it's a sure give away you're really thinking "What the hell...."

So how can we avoid making the recipients of our offerings squirm on Christmas Day? 

A number of ‘rules’ about gift exchange emerged from my research. They are

• ·      Appropriateness

A gift that’s right will be of an appropriate value and level of intimacy. It shouldn’t violate relationship boundaries by being too intimate or too extravagant for the current status of the relationship.

• ·      Empathy

A positive gift will be imbued with shared meaning, show understanding of need and signal a connection in the relationship. Failed gifts are often empty of meaning and/or show lack of understanding.

• ·      Effort

A successful gift will have required the giver to put in some effort into choosing the desired object. Gifts low on substance and sentiment send out the wrong message.

I hope all your gifts are well-received this Christmas and that all that come your way are just what you always wanted. If they're not, well, you could always open them in the dark in silence then no-one will ever know....

Do you suffer from hedonic adaptation?

How many of the following statements would you agree with?

• Most marriages start with a burst of joy that slowly fizzles out
• The thrill of winning the lottery would wear off after a while
• A larger salary wouldn’t make me much happier
• Losing weight would only make life better temporarily
• I have many possessions that I once thought were beautiful but don’t now
• Most people stop noticing their partner’s good looks
• I could achieve my dreams and still find I’m dissatisfied
• There’s nothing as exciting as a new relationship

If you answered Yes to more than two or three of these you may suffer from hedonic adaptation. 
But, to be honest, most of us do.  
Hedonic adaptation is simply when happiness wears off (cue Texas singing The thrill has gone). The way the excitement of that top job, windfall or new car fades with time. 
Even winning the lottery produces only short-term ecstasy, for lottery winners are no happier 18 months after their win than non-winners. And I suspect there are many readers of this blog who have stuff in their wardrobes that they once thought was to-die-for that they now wouldn’t be seen dead in.

Hedonic adaptation explains the tide of over-consumption that modern society is caught up in. If we didn’t ‘go off’ things, if last year’s handbag or winter coat thrilled us as much today as when we bought it, we wouldn’t be drooling over this year’s model. The exhilaration of acquisition gives buyers such a buzz that, like shopping junkies, they seek it out again and again. 

How did I ever love this lot?

We all know we should be content with less. We know that twenty pairs of shoes is more than enough for any bipedal creature. But the pull of the mall does, as I said in an earlier blog, threaten to make shopping zombies of us all.

How can we stop this adaptation and prolong the pleasure of our purchases, or our priveleges? What can the field of fashion psychology tell us? Research about to be published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin points to two key ways. Appreciation and variety. In their hedonic adaptation prevention model the authors say:

Appreciation: Stop and appreciate every day what you have and you might be able to eek more excitement from it.

Variety: Use it in different ways, to create more varied experiences, and the bliss could persist.

Why? Because the brain habituates over time that we get bored with things*. The brain loves novelty and surprises, which is why the mantra I swear by, Do Something Different, is once again of huge relevance here.

How? Here are my tips for preventing hedonic adaption and keeping the thrill alive:

• Move stuff around so you continue to notice it.
• Re-position your art or objects of desire in the home every so often so they have new impact.
• Store winter clothes away in summer, and vice versa, and experience the newness of them when you get them out again months later.
• Ditto with young kids’ toys. Divide them into four storage containers. Let them play with one set at a time while the others are hidden. Rotate on a weekly or monthly basis.
•  Better still, stop buying toys and use a toy library or swap with friends. Babies habituate very quickly to stuff and love more novelty than even the most indulgent parent can afford.
• Keep an appreciation or gratitude journal. This trick, from positive psychology, keeps reminding you of the good stuff in your life. It's shown to boost happiness as well as curbing the urge to go and buy more stuff.
• Get excitement from experiences rather than from purchases. The effects are known to last longer and be more fulfilling. Very relevant at Christmas.
• Use your old stuff in new ways, learn how to restyle your old clothes or swap with friends.
• Rent, rather than buy, an outfit for a special occasion.
• Do something different as often as possible in your life.  You’ll come to see that it’s all about what you do, not what you have.

·      * From the paper by Sheldon et al, University of Missouri:

"By definition, adaptation occurs only in response to constant or repeated stimuli, not to dynamically varying ones. Thoughts and behaviors that are varied and unexpected or surprising appear to be innately stimulating and rewarding. Stated differently, after an individual completely understands and expects the experiences that a change produces, the experiences will no longer have the same emotional impact and he or she will drift back towards his or her initial wellbeing. Maintaining the variability and surprises inherent in the experiences and in the emotions forestalls this process… One applied implication of this view is that many people cope with their HA to their prior purchases and acquisitions by overconsuming and overspending. However, if they can continue to derive pleasure from what they already have, in part from varied experiences of those possessions, then they can resist increasing aspirations for even more."

The Challenge of Staying Happier:

Testing the Hedonic Adaptation Prevention (HAP) Model

Kennon M. Sheldon, University of Missouri & Sonja Lyubomirsky, University of California, Riverside

in press, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin